Murmurs of the Heart
"We'll start out as human gongs. Become a human gong--spread harmony." Gongggggggggggggggggg some of us can control our gong breath for quite some time.
Our writing group is practicing Sufi breathing, focusing on the journey while moving towards wholeness. Eyes closed, our leaders explain water breath: hands on heart breathe in through the nose out through the mouth, as if breathing in and out of your heart. Fire is the opposite: in through the mouth out the nose. Air: in and out the nose. Earth: in and out the mouth . . . or the other way around. Not sure.
Holding hands in a circle we breathe in deeply as our leader explains "Send the whole of your life force from your heart center down your arm into your hand and into the hand of the person on your right. Send them your strength."
Gregory to my left begins to make choking noises. I squeeze his hand and without opening my obedient eyelids I hiss through my teeth "Are you giggling?"
He makes a mewing sound. "Yes"' he moans. He can barely speak.
I sneak a peek. His face is contorted, eyes squeezed shut. Breaking up he leans forward, shoulders shuddering with silent guffaws. Church laugh.
I learned about church laugh when I was seven years old at Laurie's father's funeral. She got really nervous and began to giggle in the church. The rest of her second grade girlfriends sitting behind her began to stifle inappropriate nervous laughter which then welled up into tears, which in turn was appropriate. I learned at age seven, if you get church laugh just let the tears flow and you might get away with it. Parents nearby began to pat and comfort us which of course made us more hysterical.
But Gregory's an acupuncturist and Sufi breathing practice is meant to enlighten our 90 upcoming minutes of mindful writing. This can't seem funny to an acupuncturist. When he was leader he stuck needles into our foreheads which he left dangling there through our hour long check-in meeting. Yet he is definitely giggling now.
"Breathe in from your heart and out through your right arm and hand." Our leader gently guides us. "Send that strength you've generated into the person's hand on your right. Send your vitality, your full life force to that person, send it with all your heart."
Gregory is leaning down, wiping his eyes, silently convulsed. I can't look at him. I bite the insides of my cheeks. "Breathe Gregory. Send it to me".
"C-can't send" he stutters and snorts, "have heart problems."
No comments:
Post a Comment